a Christmas miracle

Last week was hard. 

You know those weeks. School feels like such a chore. Money is stressful. The holidays are approaching and you're going um, how are we paying for all this this year?? Then after awhile, you stop asking. 

And we have no farm full of grandparents and aunties and uncles to look forward to, for thanksgiving or Christmas, and ticket prices are expensive so no one is coming our way. 

And I for some moronic reason got so exhausted digging through our storage unit right before we left that when we couldn't find the Christmas boxes I thought to myself "it's OK, who cares, we will get some new ones in Hawaii!"

Dumb dumb dumb. 

And things are really expensive here. You can't just go out and replace 15 years worth of Christmas decorations. 

So I tried to be like June. I decided to go on to Pinterest and pin 47 million ornaments to make. With the kids. We made one batch of cornstarch/baking soda ornaments and I found myself snapping at the kids because they were doing them wrong. WRONG. 

It was bad.

So I kind of gave up. We would get a tree get some lights put up our little ornaments and call it done. 

And my extended family is texting each other about the Christmas decorations they are getting out and plans for the holidays and I'm thinking about our sad tree and feeling sorrier and sorrier for myself. 

And then to top of this week dada is trying to repair a leaky pipe. In the wall. In the rain. And so he goes to the attic, which we've never been up to, to investigate. 

And there. Lo and behold. The miracle. 

Tubs and tubs of Christmas decor, left by previous tenants, up for anyone to use. 

Can I say, I cried?! 

I mean. A nativity and some lights and garlands and a ton of glass balls and ornaments. Even a cheesy Santa vase. 

Cried. Real tears. 

And I realize, okay so maybe God has a place for us here, so far from "home"  (wherever that is). And as I put up the fake pine garlands, complete with paper stars we folded together, and strings of lights, I have to accept that it's okay to need the little things, things that seem so small. In a week of horrible tragedy around the world, tragedy in our dear city we left behind in the frozen northlands, it's okay to cry tears of joy over lights and Christmas balls. We can't let tragedy - or hard weeks - steal that joy. That gratitude. Joy over the little moments in life give us our humanity. Keep us tender. Keep us connected. We need to keep seeing them. Keep that wonder. His eye is indeed on the sparrow. And this mama is ever so thankful.