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Tuesday, May 24, 2016

the slow end to the homeschool year

It is the collective sigh from mothers across the country on a Monday morning in late May, rising up, creating a hurricane of an exhale felt from house to house, joining us all together, one heaving sigh at a time...

IS SCHOOL OVER YET??

No, seriously, IS IT??

As a homeschool mom the heaving sigh is quite oppressive. One more week of lesson plans. One more week of CARING WHETHER OR NOT THEY FINISH THE WHOLE LESSON (read: I DONT CARE, but of course, I must care...)

Every May as the end of the school year approaches I have such high hopes, to go out on a high note. We will document our work! We will write reports! We will finish out our curriculum! We will do projects!

And each year the school peters out, in drips and dribbles, with a bit of a dying sighing whimper. Um, did you do any copywork today? A sentence? GOOD ENOUGH. Hey, Jack, did you do your math? Yes? Okay then. Um, you wanna watch TV? Uh, make it educational and you got yourself a DEAL.

And I know you public school moms are in the same boat...reading lists and homework and science fairs and....FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY CAN WE BE DONE ALREADY???

I just. Cannot. Do. Anymore.

But of course, I know us. By mid-July we will crack open the books for a short midsummer unit study. It wont be "school" though. Just something fun to do together. Wink Wink.

Likewise, the list I came up with for our new summer days. It goes as follows:

Daily-
-2 Chores (mom's choice!)
-Clean your room
-Read (20 minutes for Little Miss, 1 hr for Little man....He says, But that isn't fair!!! Um. You have read at least two hours already today and its 11am, I point out. Oh. Right.)
-Write something (journal, diary, letter to a cousin, etc.)
-Play outside for one hour
-Quiet time in your rooms for 30 minutes (I am so freaking excited about this one)
-Build something. Or do an art project
-Play together for 1 hr (I am not looking forward to this one, says crabby 9yr old)
-Research something and tell mom about it

I also added  weekly things to do including, trips to the (air conditioned!) library, one field trip a week (brave mommy), one book report on a NEW book, and one family beach trip.

Why, you ask, would my children be ecstatic about this??? Because, I reply with a smug look on my face, if they do all this then they get full access to TV and iPad (within REASON, I tell my overjoyed son)!

I am also ecstatic about it. Why, why Sara, full access??? But I thought media was so bad for our kids and damaging to their brains and etc. Well, I reply, still smugly grinning, if you total all those things up it puts them at late afternoon, easily. SOOOOOO....no day long whining about TV and iPad games!!!!!!!! Plus there is the very likely chance that they will get caught up in an activity and actually (GASP) enjoy it and forget about TV (my dearest hope) And honestly, if they do this much they will be doing more educational worthwhile stuff than they are doing now. HA.

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!

HA HA HA.

This is easily the most brilliant thing I have ever done, or the most idiotic (why are the two so hard to distinguish sometimes in parenthood???)

The last time I posted a new schedule idea here it totally and utterly flopped. We didnt even follow it the first week. But this???? This I have high hopes for.

And don't worry, you know I will let you know how it goes. HA!

Cheers mommies. Pour yourself a stiff one. Break out the bars of chocolate. We are ALMOST THERE.


Um. so in this picture he is sarcastically saying "HI MOM, MATH SUCKS." Bwahahahahaha. Ah. Summertime.

here. color something.

homemade math worksheets. LIKE A BOSS

mom. let me take a picture of you! eh. FINE.

The List.


i especially like this one. he doesnt whine about how many more verses he has to copy
or whether or not he hates math or how i am "the meanest mom in the world' because i
wont allow playing disney princess pets on the iPad


especially when he grins at me like this




especially now that he sits in his chair so I can do the dishes or make lunch or pee....HA HA

Sunday, May 8, 2016

it is hard and we are tired

Oh mamas.

Isn't it hard?

It is hard. And we are so damn tired. All the time.

We cook mac and cheese and clean out forgotten sippy cups and apply bandaids to non existent wounds and wipe various orifices.

And Mother's Day rolls around. Anticipations. Expectations.

Never fully realized, no matter how low you lower them.

And the kids fight about the iPad and one of them begrudgingly hands you the present they made for you in Sunday school, crying that they want to keep it themselves.

Then dada gets called into work.

And you gaze at the sweaty baby strapped to your chest, your eyes glazed over in a hazy sort of fatigue and you find yourself oozing love, which you would undoubtedly have for the big ones if they could hold still and be quiet long enough. HA.

And its there.

That love that carries us through.

Somehow.

And we wonder, when does it get easier? When will I "figure it out"?

Dear Mamas.

The answer.

Never. Of course, its never.

God, I have to tell myself that. Shout it at myself. There is no "figuring out"! Because the next thing comes, then the next. Then a giant curveball like a move or a lost job or a lost partner or, God forbid, a truly sick child.

And its all shot to hell. Again.

But we can do it mamas, this is the thing. We can.

Mother's Day shouldn't be a day for brunches and nail salons and roses. It should be a day for activities fitting of the warriors that mothers are.

They should light bonfires in our honor. Set off fireworks. Chant at the stars. Fling bouquets of limp roses into the waves. All in honor of the fallen mothers, the tired mothers, the mothers who gave up on themselves, the ones who lost children, the ones who remember carpool at the last minute and manage to squeeze in a run to Starbucks all the same. The finder of lost shoes. The soother of midnight dreams. The ones who hold our worlds' together, we queens extraordinaire.

All of us.

Warriors.

Mothers.

Queens of our domain.

It is hard. We are tired. But we fight on, just the same.

I honor you all. I hold you in my heart.

Fight on.




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