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Thursday, November 4, 2021


Two steps forward one step back. 
That is what healing looks like some days.
And yea, sometimes its one step forward, two steps back. 
And yes, some days its "Can I please hide in bed and not talk to anyone and have no one talk to me??"

I read somewhere recently that healing from trauma can be done in the quietness of your own mind. Without needing to confront or be confronted, and that sometimes it just happens, on a subconscious level, without even real recognition that it's going on. Of course, go to therapy, talk it out, get support, do what feels good and right for you. But, I think it's interesting that like a physical wound an emotional wound, with time too, can surprise you. No, time doesn't heal all. It takes work. Etc Etc. But. I think what I am saying is that our mentally processing things and getting to a point of "okay" can happen without us really acknowledging it, and one day, you can be like, oh, shit, that doesn't bother me anymore. 

Like the other day, when I watched a show where a couple was bickering in front of their kids, and then some level of unfaithfulness occurred, and what was usually honestly triggering for me, well, it was okay. I could watch it as part of the plot of the show and move on. 

So here I am. The holidays bring this up for me. I know this. I have known this for a few years now. I am faced with family pictures in front of the tree and the whole who gets whom when thing and seeing my sisters and their families and so on and so forth. 

It's a lot. 

Some years I would be happy skipping to January. 

So I figure, make a plan.

My plan last year, this year too, is ultra hyper focus on the kids. Fun traditions. Etc Etc. 

Although right now that sounds exhausting. 

Who else is tired??

I have nothing. This post is a dud. 

Bottom line. 

Healing can happen. It is happening. And even when you can't feel some sort of cathartic energy of it having occurred, just know, trust, you ARE getting there.

And yea. We are tired. All of us. I know it's not just me, most likely, who wants to rent a cabin in the woods for two months until we are past the holidays (or hacienda by the beach??) 

But. We can do this.


  1. Not a dud, contemplating thoughts and understanding feelings are part of healing.

    Moving on from working 60 hour weeks to a resting and recouperating retirement is getting healthy too.

    The only things consistent in life is God's love and the fact that everything else changes.


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