that moment

Getting real today, poor June. 

I felt the need to write the moment, share this picture, because I want to 1) let it go - like a seeping wound that needs air - and 2) spur our conversations around living in authenticity. 

So here, it is, my moment. 

This moment, my crater moment, happened not far from an actual crater - a volcanic one, upon which our coffee farm was clinging to the side of the volcanic rock. It might have all tumbled into the ocean in that moment because everything I thought was real and true was swept out from underneath me. 

Well. Almost everything.

But, it turns out, the things that were still there. My kids. My sense of urgent purpose (gotta get us back on our feet!). And my parents and siblings. They were all I needed to climb out of that crater and find solid ground again. 

The image above is one that I have never shared. My last night on my little hillside farm. I took it because I wanted to remember her. That Sara. Her eyes are so sad. So confused. Hurt. Betrayed. But, freaking determined. 

Have you had this moment?

This make or break sensation of, like Eminem says “Success is the only m-f-er option, failure's not."

This is what I am talking about. 

And here is the thing, and read closely. WE ALL HAVE THESE MOMENTS. They might be monumental, like mine, an undoing of so much, or they might be a subtle shift in the ground under you that changes everything. 

Some of us endure these moments quietly, push them away, or stagger with the change and keep on with appearances. Others of us run in fear. And some, surrounded by cheerleaders, might be able to use these moments to catapult into the next great thing. 

So, what are you going to do?

Are you listening to the tremors in your life that are telling you “Find the next thing. Do that thing you have always wanted to do. You can!” 

Listen. Tune in. Because the crater isn't where we were meant to live. It's where we release and let go and become alive!

Here is the deal. I know what it is like. My next venture, this course and community "Claim Your Revolution" is to invite others into this journey.

My June people. We diapered our babies together. And now, likely, so many years later, we are sending the last of our babies off to school and wondering, what is next. Do you feel the shifting ground??

What are you gonna do about it?????????????????

 

back to it

Is it just me (I know it isn't) or is this school year start just ridiculously weird??

Last year was pandemic-ness and unknown and make it work. 

(We homeschooled.)

This year just feels....off. Like it should be normal, but, heck, it's not. It feels unsettling. 

I think I have no normal anymore. Do any of us? That is really it. Today after picking my kid up from school and hearing stories of this and that I was like, to heck with that, and rolled up to her brother's Montessori school to pick him up, and hey, let's enroll you too.

There is no normal. 

There just is. Each day. 

Maybe I crave routine? Tomorrow that is my task. A play by play of my day so I feel more...settled? Even if it changes next week? I am going to write it all out on my weekly planner that has turned into a scratch pad for random notes on work calls. 

GAAAAAHHHHHH.

I don't know. I feel out of my skin lately. And yes, I am still taking the dear sweet Lexapro, HA. It's not really anxiety per se. A sense of foreboding? No. Not really that. I don't know. In the past September was all about Get Shit Done. Routine. Rhythm. Putting away the garden. Canning. Starting new projects. 

This September just feels like.....HUH? 

I don't know. Anybody else feeling this sense of unknowing? 

FYI. Little man, who is now 6'1, gave me a report of each of his teachers, written down, and their grasp of classroom shenanigans and engagement in the topic and then tells me he found a group of kids to sit with - "less friends and more just a social buffer" - and OMG who are these little people???

Maybe I need to can some pickles, for old times, sake. Make some sourdough. Or homemade laundry soap. HAHAHAHA. That was funny that I did that. 

In any case. Where are you settling in to this weird-ass September??