coming up for air

I swear I've written a post with exactly this title.

Do you think?

I'm too lazy to look.

Its muggy today and my brain is hazy. This weird sinus headachy thing. All I want is a giant iced latte. Go get one for me, someone?? No?? I'm totally going to go get one.

I've had many ideas for posts rolling around in my head that would fit this title. Wrapping up the school year. Coming up for air. The age of 5 and a half. Coming up for air. The little is potty trained. Coming up for air. Me and dada having this conversation the other day.

"Sometimes I feel like we don't respond to each other well when we are stressed. We feed off of each other's bad moods and snap at each other instead of helping each other feel better and get through it."

"Yea, like, we get upset about the other person being stressed and instead of saying 'gee I'm sorry, its going to be okay' we get mad."

"We both do it."

"I know, right? Why?"

"Too much energy sucked up by the kids?"

"Its like, just GET OVER YOUR BAD MOOD. Right??"

"I know!"

"We totally shouldn't do that."

"Agreed."

HA HA.

Coming up for air.

And we are out being social more in a week than in a month over the winter and perhaps my somewhat introverted self is getting overwhelmed. Like, can we sit by the fire and knit again?

HA.

Need. More. Coffee.

Coming up for air.

And my work. ARGH. Almost done with this one client project and then.... BOOK EDITING TIME. Much more exciting than when I faced editing my master's thesis. (HELL)

But.

This girl.

Took these pics the other day.

LOVE THEM.

SO her personality.

She and I are readjusting our relationship I think. She is becoming kid. Still mama's girl. But turning into kid. And the weaning thing is starting to happen. (PLEASE SOON) And she is now fully potty trained. Did I mention that already???? HA. No, but seriously. Not to have a kid in diapers??? After 8 years???? That is BIG.

Coming up for air.

So, more posts in the works. I made these ridiculously cute flower dolls for the girls yesterday. Post by the end of the week. And Lins. Dandelion crown post. That will happen too.

And now. Summer. Driving to a city playdate. Yesterday a swimming party. Tomorrow maybe a trip to the lake.

SUMMER.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Coming up for that delicious air.

she insisted on standing like this. next to the flower her sister picked out for her. :)

trying to nap down baby

"Mama. I sleepy. See my eyes. Dem are tired and sleepy eyes. Mama. I take nappy?"

(Sigh. Puts down laptop and hot cup of tea)

"Guys. Mama needs to go put baby down for a nap. Please play quietly okay? Please? Are you even listening to me?"

(Children playing Duplos and Legos barely look up, acknowledge, barely, by a nod of the head)

"Do you hear me?"

"Yes mama, we hear you."

"Come on baby."

(Baby nurses, snuggles, etc. Eyes close. VICTORY. Door to bedroom opens. Eyes pop open)

"Mama. I need to take a nap too."

"Really? Yea, you do look tired. Okay. Fine. Lay down. But quiet!"

(4 yr old snuggles in, Duplo creations in hand. Baby sees Duplo creations. Baby wants her own Duplo creations.)

"Where my guys? I want my guys!"

"Okay baby, I will get them."

(4 yr old retrieves Duplo creations, hands them off to baby, who puts them to sleep on mama's pillow, pushing mama to the side.)

"Okay. Now can we sleep?"

"Okay mama, okay."

"Mama? My more milky?"

"Yes, yes,okay, come here."

(Baby closes eyes, almost asleep, and then...the door opens. Again. Brother comes in. Baby's eyes pop open. Again.)

"I want to snuggle too."

"Okay, fine. But seriously guys, QUIET."

(Silence for approximately 1.5 minutes. Brother scoots under the quilts. Sister follows. Baby giggles and follows too. Mama closes her eyes. Counts to ten.)

"Okay, kids. Baby needs to sleep. Get out if you aren't going to sleep. Okay??"

"Okay mama."

"I am gonna sleep in here. I'm a bear. Its my cave."

"No. Its not a cave. Its my bed. If you aren't going to sleep GO PLAY."

(Silence for approximately 30 seconds, cue giggling which of course, turns to crabbing 30 seconds later.)

"He kicked me!"

"I did NOT!"

"Okay, get out, both of you. OUT."

"Okay. Okay. We're going."

"Me too. All done with nappy mama. I go play now too."

(Kids leave room. Mama sighs, pulls blanket over her head. Baby shuts door behind her then comes back in the room.)

"Mama, you comin'? GET UP."

"Yes. Mama is coming."

(Mama heats up tea, sucks it down, makes more tea, then makes brownies. It's all gonna be alright. right?? )

(And as I type....honest to gosh...)

"MAMA. I SLEEPY AGAIN."

(MAMA TEARS OUT HAIR. IS IT FRIDAY YET???)

(NOTE TO SELF: Sara, you don't know how to make brownies without following a recipe. LOOK UP THE RECIPE GIRL!)

you are two

Two. Two. My baby is two. And potty training. And that whole super duper independence thing. And its all coming. This year. The big baby-to-kid year. And I am not ready for it. To say goodbye to this baby. This "I love you mama, with my WHOLE HEART," baby. This "happy berfday" singing, fluffy haired girl, who stole our hearts when we finally heard her cry two years ago. Two years ago. It seems like just yesterday and yet, I cant imagine our family, our lives, ever felt right without her. Our Green. Our Evergreen. Happy berfday my girl. We adore you.

the toddler at play

The toddler at play. This sounds like some law of nature "The toddler at play, stays at play. Constantly." Until they fall apart and take a nap. Then they wake up, and play.

As it should be.

And oh my what busy creatures they are!

Building and knocking down and rocking babies to sleep and spinning in circles and talking to toy trains. Busy. Busy. Busy.

As it should be.

When little man was a little toddler man I can remember nearly panicking about what we did or did not have at his disposal so as to prompt creative and meaningful play.

And now, relaxed, carefree, experienced mama that I am (tongue in cheek folks, tongue in cheek) I watch my third toddler play. She's laying on the floor in her brother's sleeping bag, hauled out from the closet.

"I have a pillow now, 'neath my head. And now I cozy. Zipper over my head."

And now she is singing, holding her brothers army guy truck (don't judge, k? HA)

And now she is going into her brother's room.

"I need dat castle! Get me dat castle! I need it!"

FINE, he says and gets it down. Say thank you baby. SAY THANK YOU.

And now she come in, with "dat castle" singing again. "I got da castle. And dis one guy up here! Going up and dis one guy here, come on guys!"

And she makes her fire truck guys walk up and down the castle ladder, knocking on the door, talking and singing.

So easy. So naturally playful. So many worlds in her mind, all mixed together, flowing from idea to idea without any inhibitions.

And I have come to realize all we can do is provide props for these worlds. We have a little area for her in the living room with a collection of toddler toys from over the years. A basket of trains and tracks. Some firetrucks and a school bus full of people and a lovely wooden minivan. Some wooden blocks, just bits of branches that we cut up and sanded and polished with beeswax. A basket of toddler books. Two child size rocking chairs, one pink and one red. A wooden Noah's ark set with animals. Two hobby horses and a wooden push toy. One of those Ikea wire bead toys. A basket of musical instruments. And a push cart and a cradle with an assortment of baby dolls. A few baskets for carrying around odds and ends. Sometimes a few silk scarves are up here too. They become blankets or capes for queens. Around the corner is a little kitchen with pots and food for tea parties and pretend birthday celebrations.

And this is her little world.

And when I just sit, and watch, amazed by her creativity, her little unique self.

And I find myself longing for the inhibited creativity, without censoring ideas, without compartmentalizing play.

And then she and her sister start fighting over the pink headband and she flings herself on the floor sobbing and it is naptime.

The world of the toddler.