The Mommy Diet

With both kids I gained an obscene amount of weight during pregnancy. Like, rivaling or possibly outweighing my 6’3 husband. I can’t remember exactly, I think I blocked that out.

I don’t know how women can gain all of 25 lbs with a pregnancy. I even heard of someone gaining 12lbs once (granted, she threw up her whole pregnancy but that is beside the point). Twelve pounds is like, what I can gain over the holidays, you know what I mean?

So, when, the year after I have had a babycakes, I am back in my skinny jeans people say “oh it’s that breastfeeding” (which, yes does help. My babies LOVE their milky) or “oh, it’s chasing kids” (certainly, this does do some of it).

But no. it’s also, I must confess, due to the Mommy Diet.

I am not talking about a dieting kind of diet. I don’t really do that kind of diet. I like food (especially when other people make it for me) and it tends to lead to nasty calorie counting obsessiveness. I don’t do that.

No, I am talking about Diet as in “what people eat on a daily basis.”

You all know what I am talking about.

The Mommy Diet.

Here is what we eat:

Breakfast – coffee, at least Two Large Cups (and I capitalize this to emphasize its importance…I am talking full travel mug size cups – travel mugs prevent spills when you stick it on the floor by the couch in the morning and also keeps it somewhat warm when you forget it on top of the washing machine. I highly recommend it.)

(A note on breakfast, I did try, when pregnant, to eat some kind of protein in the morning. Eggs or peanut butter. Just had to add that in because, as we all know, breakfast is The Most Important Meal Of The Day.)

Snack – half eaten apple that your kid threw on the floor. You wash it and, to your horror, finding yourself taking a bite.

Lunch – four bites of mac ‘n cheese (cold, after trying to entice teething babycakes to eat more) one corner of a peanut butter and honey sandwich and three corners of crusts.

Afternoon snack – half a rejected granola bar. (“its too crunchy mama, where is the CHOCOLATE part??”) Perhaps also a few chocolate chips eaten quietly out of the freezer where the chocolate stash is kept while kiddies play in the other room.

Dinner – Perhaps a real meal, lets say, huge slab of meatloaf and roasted potatoes. Kids leftover broccoli (cold, yuck, because you don’t want to throw it away.) This is all consumed within 15 minutes and no seconds of course because babycakes the first requires bribing to eat and teething babycakes the second has thrown half her food on the floor in disgust and you find yourself pulling out the broom to sweep up the mess before even finishing your dinner.

Dessert – Perhaps ice cream that daddy goes to get after babies are asleep and we eat in grateful silence while watching television on low because once again teething babycakes fell asleep in my arms on the couch. Perhaps also, a vodka tonic.

This is quite pathetic.

And then on days where there is no real dinner it’s even more pathetic: Daddy is working evening job, mommy makes kiddies ravioli and steamed veggies and perhaps eats two full raviolis because babycakes the first wants more, and perhaps eats all of three steamed carrots because said kiddies for some reason refuse to eat cooked carrots. And then of course there is no daddy to go get ice cream later in the evening, sniff, sniff.

Also, there is the really bad thing with this of eating most of my calories in the evening, which for some reason I feel like Oprah is the one who preaches not to do this. Is that right? I don’t watch Oprah I just seem to associate that It Is Very Bad To Eat Lots of Calories At Night with Oprah.

But, this is the Mommy Diet. This is what we eat.

Needless to say after months of this coupled with nursing and chasing kiddies, and hauling babycakes around all day (25 lbs of love), and double stroller walks daily, sometimes twice a day. Well, there you have it, 60lbs gone in no time. (Gulp, did I just admit that. It’s true.)

I have come to a point where daily nutrition is important though. I don’t like the shaky feeling of not giving my body what it needs. When my husband was studying for the bar exam when babycakes the first was little I got really bad with the mommy diet. He was always gone and with my aversion to cooking things got out of hand.

Now, with two kids to chase I can’t afford not having enough energy to get through my day.

So, a couple things I try to do:

Have “Mom” Bars on hand. I get Kashi bars with NO chocolate chunks or any kid enticements like that. Carry these in your diaper bag along with your kiddie snacks (ironic how we do this huh, shove healthy food at our kids ALL DAY and forget to do the same for ourselves??)

Have almonds in your house, or some dried fruit.

Try to limit chocolate availability. I know this last one is awful. I went through a phase post-baby#2 where I seriously had to have chocolate to get through those afternoon doldrums. (yes, I just used the word doldrums…) Almonds or dried fruit is a nice alternative and prevents the inevitable crash from the sugar and caffeine of chocolate. This one is touch because I DO love chocolate. But I have found myself to react more and more to sugar as the years go by. Not just a crash in energy but even mood swings. Best to limit oneself – hence the occasional sending daddy out to get a chocolate delight blizzard at the end of a particularly long day – insert wink guy here.

Drink kefir. My kids will stand it but don’t LOVE it. More for me I say. It’s like a fizzy yogurt drink. A swig in the morning from a big carton of it and you are good to go. Its really good homemade, the best really, and simple to make but my grains died awhile back (you use a culture-like “grain” to make it, simply drop in milk, raw milk is best, and leave out at room temperature.)

I also take probiotics every evening, two capsules at 15 billion strains per capsule. I SWEAR by this. It helps with digestion and keeps your immune system strong.

I also take Omega 3/DHA daily. Several capsules (Carlson brand) every night (then you aren’t tasting fish taste while your body absorbs it because, well, you are asleep)

The other great thing to have on hand is Emergen C packets. I got these for my home birth with babycakes two (are you surprised?? Yes, home birth. It was lovely. I will tell more about it later if anyone cares to hear.) and I realized they were nice to have on hand. A burst of energy and anti-oxidant goodness to fight off oncoming colds. (I take a packet a day at the first sign of a cold – being sick as a mommy is THE WORST, to be avoided at all costs!)

I also make and drink Kombucha (more posting to come on this) which is, apparently, wicked good for you. (I mean, if LiLo drinks it it must be good stuff, right? – remember how I know too much about celebrities? Yea. Not joking about that.)

Other snacky ideas:
- Spreading peanut butter straight onto a banana, just bite by bite. A great quick energizing snack.
-Popcorn, the homemade kind, made with coconut oil and stevia for a kettle corn affect. YUM. I pop up a huge batch and store leftovers in a ziplock bag. (can share actual anti-recipe later if you are interested)

A lot of my eating philosophy comes from these folks. Basically emphasizing eating “whole” foods (no, not just shopping at Whole Foods, I actually never shop there. So freaking expensive. But more on that later.) Avoiding processed foods. Giving your body extra help (kefir, yogurt, Kombucha) Etc. etc.

However, I do, as I have confessed before, eat the occasional double cheeseburger from McDonalds. Yum.

So, what are your Mommy Diet thoughts/snack ideas/pathetic anecdotes? Tell me I am not alone in this!



Next up: Mommy confessions