I am, um, slightly volatile. Like a pendulum I swing from desolate
to manic-y stress to elated to calm to exhausted. Within an hour. All of this.
The swinging has me dizzy today.
I am sitting in my homeschool chair, books piled on the table
around me, and my crabby little man sitting on the couch saying to me,
"fine mom, I'm here. What do you want me to do??" (I caught him
researching strategies for the game he's addicted to on the iPad and now he's peeved
at me.)
I look at him.
He looks at me.
Um.
Here. Grammar workbook. Uh. Then some math.
I have nothing right now.
And so, the end of days are upon us.
Every contraction I worry. But we don't have a carseat yet! Our
car only seats 5!!! And dada assures me it will all be okay.
And then I just want it all to be over. So I can move again. And
not worry. And have a baby tied to my chest and get on with life. Instead of
WAITING WAITING WAITING.
Again, as with the moving here. I am great at new things. Bad at
transitions.
The going back to newborn days is a transition, but one I feel
like we will be okay with. Its just all the workings out of it all. Getting
into that routine of feedings and little sleep and school and my new life of
work and dada's crazy work schedule.
How.
How.
HOW???
My brain does this every night from around 4-5:30am for the past
several days.
Ah, the end of days.
The best thing I think, is just to put that all in the future. You
can't deal with it now, dear tired Sara. So, deal with it then. Get some rest.
Turn on Netflix. Eat more chocolate.
It will be okay.
Probably, even, pretty damn good.
So I look at pretty pictures of things I want to get baby on
Amazon and Target. And try to conjure up an image of me kicking ass at All The
Things with a baby attached to my chest (instead of painfully wedged inside my
uterus, HA)
Here is the other conundrum I face.
Gathering all the stuff. You know. The Baby Stuff.
I gave away all my baby stuff. Well, most of it. And the rest of
it is sitting in a storage unit. I did have the foresight at 10weeks pregnant
before we moved to pack a few boxes of things. Some cloth diapers none of my
sisters could use for their babies. Some newborn clothes I couldn't bear to
give away. And my mom sent these a while back.
But it presents me with the situation of needing new gear.
Stroller. Onesies. Car seat. Bassinet. Hats. Breast pump. LORD HAVE MERCY.
So. What do you really need, for the
later-in-motherhood-been-there-done-that-but-already-got-rid-of-all-the-baby-gear-stage-in-life.
What would be on your list???
(I wrote about all of this of course, back in the day, here and
here and here. But let's not deny me the fun of listing out my current must-haves, k??
HAHAHA)
Here is my list of must-haves:

RIGHT?? SO PRETTY.
The second must have. A woven wrap. The jersey knit ones are fine
and good but people, it is hot here, and I am going to be teaching this summer,
with a baby tied to me half the time, walking around campus. My dark brown wrap
used for Baby #3 just wont cut it. This woven one though. Such pretty happy
colors, light weight, and according to the reviews the woven fabric helps it
stand up longer to weightier babies. And as all my babies have reached 20 lbs
by 6 or 7 months...this is a good thing. This one is an Ella Roo wrap.
These have been at the top of my wishlist for months. So
yesterday. Tired day of me waddling to meetings, I come home to a package. MY
SISTERS GOT ME BOTH THINGS. Seriously. Tears.
The bag is so so lovely.
The
colors in the wrap are so so vibrant.
I get happy walking by the stash of baby things just looking at
both.
We opted for a pack n play that moves from newborn to older baby
level. We can't fit a crib in our house and as we end up cosleeping anyhow this
seems like a good fit. Portable. And can be a napping and then play space for
baby that is safe and contained. Thanks to a group of coworkers we have this one!

These things matter to the fourth time mama. HA.

Hmmmm. What else?

I've also got these woolen lovelies. A little tie hat (I need to
sew more!) and two shirts. They are a wool silk blend, soft, and great for
layering if the evening air gets cool (like when it was 75 the other day and I
was shivering...HAHA) And, I mean. They are Danish. I'm a sucker for anything
baby related with a European label.


What else? A lambskin rug. We have three sitting in our storage
unit back on the mainland. Why did I not ship them?? But, this guy will need
his own too. So, I found a farm that produces their own, more naturally tanned
skins. Now to convince dada on the price tag. HA. But seriously, so pretty and
soft looking, I want to cuddle one. I use these for diaper changes and laying
baby down on for tummy time. Natural soft and warm.


Ah. Pretty.

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why would you have a giraffe teether if you can have a goat??? |
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clearly my child must have this book... |
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love the soft grey |
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are these bibs too hipster?? |
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have you seen these lit inspired baby books?? |
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disana woolies! the best! |

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also, clearly my baby needs this quilt |

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aden and anais have a new baby clothing line! i want it ALL |
Okay.
I can do this.
I'm guessing 7-10 days....I can make it...
Those photos are amazing! And yes, you can do this, and everything will fall into place when baby comes. And you'll have so many helpers. Having a baby with older siblings to help makes such a difference.
ReplyDeleteMany thoughts. First, I love the pictures! So pretty and so nice to capture the moment of the whole family waiting for new arrival (on a Hawaii beach no less)!!! Second, I love baby wish lists. And dreaming about newborn days is the best antidote to horrible achy gigantic belly waiting waiting... It WILL feel so good to have the little one pouched onto your chest instead of hanging out in the nethers. Finally, we HAVE the goat book and it is SO cute but the kids don't pay much attention to it. So don't buy it! I will send it to you! And a few other baby things that I couldn't bear to get rid of (most everything else has magicked away to other expecting mamas these last months). Oh, one more thing--we used only a pack'n'play for Gabriel because we were moving from Indiana shortly and for all the reasons you said, and I'm really glad we did. That's all! Send me your address!
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