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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

mommy confessions

Sometimes I miss swearing.

We all know you can’t swear around young children. Or older ones for that matter. It is wrong. It is evil. It is Bad Parenting

But, let’s face it. Sometimes when you grab a hot pot handle, or see your bus drive by with your hand on the door handle (here's looking at you dada), or you hit your shin against your too-sharp Ikea bedframe (what were we thinking?) when lugging sleeping little man back into HIS bed…well, sometimes you really really, really want to let a good swear rip.

SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But you can’t.

It is Not Allowed.

Little minds are too impressionable.

Babycakes recently came home from Sunday School, yes Sunday School, saying “Good damage!” (his summer class is mixed with big boys…ACK!)

What does that mean? We ask.

It means knocking down stuff is good sometimes!

Oh. Umm…don’t say that, ok?

I have managed to reign in my need over the four years that I have been privileged to be called mommy.

When little man was really little I wasn’t so careful. Before he was born I was away on an adventure for several months and surrounded by Aussies and other international types who drop the F-bomb with little regard.

You see, we had, in our old house (well, new one too really) a cupboard that tended to explode with Tupperware every time we opened it. In a period of a week or so the contents of this cupboard scared the bejeezus out of me several times. And yes, I yelled out FUCK! in the presence of my impressionable 18 month old. (One might add here that cleaning out said cupboard or moving contents into lower cupboard would’ve been smart but, alas.) And then a few days later. Yes, I did it again.

Little man laughed hysterically. Each time.

So, one day, little man drops a toy. What do I hear out of his sweet little baby mouth?

“FACK!”

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And he laughed, hysterically. This is a funny game, right?

By the end of the day (before daddy came home) I got him to change this new vocabulary to “FROG!” and he has since forgotten that word.

Lesson learned.

But, there is nothing like letting a swear out to relieve some pressure…guess you all can be the beneficiaries of my need to release.

FUCKDAMMITSHIT!

Lucky you. Ha.

(posted with apologies to my mother, mother-in-law, and grandmothers)

Happy Wednesday all!

6 comments:

  1. Maybe? I just cleaned when I was really mad.... but there is a need to channel anger in a way that doesn't hurt people, either words or actions are included in that thought. One time I had a dream that I was throwing knives at my children and I woke up thinking..I would NEVER do that..then the Lord brought the verse to mind that says "if you call your brother a fool, it's the same as killing them." That was a turning point for me..( and the house got a lot cleaner!) Love ya.....

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  2. I definitely agree about cleaning. Doing dishes is very soothing for me. Water on, cant hear kids arguing, bubbles, lavender soap, making things clean...it works wonders.
    But, as a clarification, i am not at ALL joking around about using swears AT my kid, like, yelling. Dude i would never do that nor joke about it. that is actually Bad Parenting.
    Just talking about the words themselves. you know?
    Hmmm....
    Other thoughts? How do you soothe yourself/release?

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  4. haha. i remember a car ride we took with little man in the back saying "fack". you just told me not to laugh and look straight ahead as we both almost cracked up! you are an awesome mom and sister and writer. keep it up! love!

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  5. so really this underlying question is...how does one relieve momentary anger around kids?
    i read a book that actually suggests tarzan yelling to relieve the tension of these kinds of moments. i did it one day when the kids were arguing over who got to stand on the stepstool and who had to stand on the chair to help me with dishes....they both started laughing.
    any other ideas?

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  6. how about making that funny raspberry sound with your lips, you know like a motor boat? just a thought.

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