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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

on being tired

So I just can’t stop yawning today. Little miss pulled the blankets off of me at 5am this morning and said MAMA DET UP! DET UP! After an hour I managed to get her back down. She slept till 8:30am.


Still that kind of sleep interruption just slays me these days. IMUSTGETMORESLEEP. You know what that means right, going to bed when the kids do. So we have two choices 1) give up free time at night and get more sleep or 2) stay up to eat some ice cream and read and surf the internet in peace but be tired the next day.


I guess it comes down to that. I can’t give up my sane “me time” right now.

My other option is to put on a late afternoon movie, Wall-E works nicely, and have them snuggle around me as I lay on the couch. I managed a 30 minute nap the other day with this tactic.

That may have to happen today.

I was lying down with little miss for her nap and little man came in breathing down my neck. I WANT YOU TO GET UP. Come ON mom! In his most dramatic loud whisper.


So here I am. Sitting on the couch writing on the laptop while he marches around the room in his knight get up (for some reason this involves carrying around their little broom too, I don’t know why.) Totally bleary-eyed. Drinking tea. Trying to wake up.

I made it out to story time and then a playdate this morning. WAY more activity than I have done in a while (please don’t think ill of me! Well, whatever, think whatever you like I guess. I am too tired to care. HA)

I was talking with someone the other day who literally could find only a few free hours in her week - EVEN SATURDAY - to try and get together. Violin, gymnastics, school stuff, classes. Just listening to her made me want to sit down.


I am never going to survive those years of driving children to and fro. Is it okay if I don’t want to? I mean, seriously is soccer and dance and piano and playgroups and choir and etc. all requirements for being a mother today? I was busy like that at 15, 16 maybe, but not at 8! I don’t know if I can do all that!

And with three children??

The three children thing keeps on sneaking up on me and freaking me out every now and then.


I mean, under age one or even two, fine, I stick baby in the Ergo, the two others holding my hands, and yes, I can do that. But what about when there are three running in different directions?

And you think I don’t leave the house enough now. HA. Just wait. I am going to turn into a total hermit.

Oh my gosh my son is now spinning around in circles talking to himself. WHERE DO THEY GET THIS ENERGY??

So, any other good tips for the first-trimester-with-two-kids-under-five-tired-ass-blues?

I feel so whiney but man oh man. Tonight may just be a going-to-bed-with-the-kids night. But then again, I was hoping to catch up on Greys Anatomy online.

Oh the tough mommying choices (said totally facetiously).

these pictures have nothing to do with this post.
but they are cute.
and, yes, he is reading a chess book.
he told us the other day he was going to be on the chees team AND
the football team in highschool. COOL :)


  1. Yeah, I don't understand the whole DO DO DO mentality behind motherhood either. I don't want that kind of lifestyle... it seems like too much.

  2. Hey Sarah - Tara Tidwell here ...

    Congratulations on #3 on the way! I've been clicking over more from FB the last several weeks because I am now a parent-to-be myself and enjoy reading your stories. (Due end of August - not out on Facebook yet.)

    I've been exhausted the past 2 months and all I do is sit at a desk all day, so I'm pretty impressed with the mamas who deal with it while caring for older kids :)

  3. allison - glad its not just me being lazy HA. i suppose i will give in to classes and such someday but i dont get it when its the parents signing the kids up and committing to that makes me tired. then again. folding laundry makes me tired right now ;)

    tara - yea, but i get to wear pjs all day if i want :) its hard from where you sit too! i love your "not out on facebook yet" addendum. isnt that so funny! i totally wouldve waited longer to do so but with young kids who know who talk i just didnt want some random wall commenter spoiling it! (or my grandmother finding out that way, you know?) so we were out with it on the early side...and oh, CONGRATS!!!!! so excited for you!

  4. Man, there is nothing like that first trimester level of tired! There is no judgement. You are growing a baby. Get rest at any cost!!

    As far as the GO mentality, it's hard. Both the kids and I are sensitive to overscheduling--once C told me that she didn't like doing so many activities, bc she didn't like to feel rushed and things weren't fun. Those are powerful words from a 7 year old! So we look very carefully at activities and let them decide what ones they REALLY want to do. But I have an acquaintance who is a SAHM and she says the only way she keeps her sanity is a rigid schedule and constant activities outside the home so she doesn't feel trapped. Which makes me wonder if she ever really feels anything? Or if that's her image of what a SAHM should be? Or if that's the culture of Moms in her area? Competition and peer pressure?

  5. tracy-i know many moms like that...its hard not to sound judge-y (i guess judgemental is the word HA) but to me if you cant have a contented day at home with your kids then, umm, something is not right with that, you know? i mean, is that harsh of me? i know several moms that are aghast that i dont have j in preschool. like "how-do-you-survive" pity every time i talk to them. its almost to me like these overscheduled moms havent made peace with the choas that is motherhood, the great losing of control, of self, that motherhood is...almost like imposing this ordered schedule over daily life can give back that control...that sounds harsh, i dont mean it to. i have struggled with it too. and sure its personality i think. i am fine (most days) without talking or seeing other adults until dada time (that magical hour). i am like that. maybe a more social person needs more interaction that that to stay sane.
    but still...letting go. and being ok with being. i just think its good. and for our kids too.
    but that is me....mommyhood is hard. surviving is good. but, i say, enjoying is better :)
    (sounds like another post in the works ;)

  6. I'm also pregnant and also not out on Facebook yet. Some family members have some sad news about the health of their baby, and I feel an abundance of riches being pregnant with my fourth. Anyway, we'll tell people there soon.

    As far as three kids running different directions, it won't be TOO bad. I've got that right now. Definitely start working now on training the little man to hold hands with the little lady when you are out places. We work on talking about expectations for behavior before we go somewhere. Starbucks was the hardest after having a third, for some reason, so we have Starbucks rules. "Do not go out the door. Do not push the rolling high chair at 100 miles an hour taking out bystanders' ankles. Do not touch other people's phone/computer/food/coffee." That's made that better. :)

    Chris and I also realized that Ben (who was 2.5 when Bethany was born) was the X factor. Maddie (5 at the time) didn't run into traffic, and Bethany couldn't go anywhere. So, get Ben strapped in the shopping cart, double stroller, or wherever, and it will all be okay.

    I totally relate to the fatigue!!! I don't know if it's worse this time, but it is intense! I have been doing very little, but I did take time tonight to train Maddie on the proper way to load a dishwasher. I think a lot of moms of big (or biggish) families make it work with chores. Swiffering is something my kids like to do, that doesn't make a bigger mess for me, like sweeping does.

  7. hey! congrats friend! and some good tips...especially getting them to be more indpendent. today i laid out the kids clothes and j helped a get dressed! and he got dressed too! (his shirt was inside out and her hood covered her face but this mama was proud.) its all about the baby steps i suppose...
    here is hoping the fatigue passes soon for us both - and you too tara!! blech!

  8. I cant really relate to the prago-tired stage, yet, but I do think your kids are wonderfully cute and you should print and frame those pictures!

  9. "I mean, seriously is soccer and dance and piano and playgroups and choir and etc. all requirements for being a mother today? I was busy like that at 15, 16 maybe, but not at 8!" You are sooooooooooooo right ... and Sarah here is another Mom who is not willing to drive the kids thru this program. I wait until they old enough to go by themself. Well in Switzerland this will be a bit earlier than in the states :)! But anyway, don`t do it ... give your child a childhood and no agenda to do. My advise, which is maybe wrong in other eyes, but good to live with. :)
    Greettings from Switzerland MONI

  10. shoot, i just realized i totally spelled your name wrong ... my sister is a sarah and i know how controversial the "h" is :) (also i just automatically spell it like that without thinking) ...

    yeah, the whole when to announce on FB is a dimension that snuck up on me. pretty much all the friends i care about know now (assuming we haven't forgotten anyone, eeps) ... there are just a couple freelance-job-peeps who i'd like to hold out on for a couple more months so i decided to wait.

  11. tara - no worries, been happening my whole life ;) congrats again. you must be so excited!!

  12. Hi Sara, I have been checking out your blog for a while now at the suggestion of a friend, and I love it. While I don't always agree with you, reading your well-written words has helped me both as a woman and a mom. Congrats on #3, by the way! (an aside--I have also made several woolies for my girls and am loving those.) I just wanted to give a flip side on the scheduling. I hate to feel busy, but I do like a schedule. We consciously moved several months ago to a much smaller city--from Denver to Fort Collins, Colorado--and this has made a tremendous difference in our overall busyness. I think our commitments on a week are probably pretty typical, some preschool, a dance class, here and there a playdate, a trip to the gym for mom (and thus a trip to the child-watch area for the girls). I recently found out that schools here have gym once a week. Yes, that's once a week. So, most definitely, I will have to look elsewhere for structured fitness/sports opportunities for my girls. I can spend a great day at home with my kids (and I do, especially when weather doesn't cooperate), but I feel that I do better and my kids do better when there is some structure to our days. I don't think you sound judge-y, I think you sound like a mom who knows what she and her kids need. I would welcome you to see that other moms, maybe even those who commit to several different activities for their kids, are doing the same. All the best!

  13. jayme - thanks for reading and joining the conversation! the more perspective added, honestly, the more i am learning from this blog!
    i have to clarify my meaning though. i love schedule and routine. i need it. but, its our daily routine, when we do what around the house, you know? we typically do do one playdate a week plus church. plus we go to visit family every other week (my moms farm is nearby)...we have gone through phases of doing several classes each week plus i was working from home and had a nanny several days a week. life was VERY scheduled then. right now is a lull i suppose.
    i think really its a phase thing. i know that soon my little guy will want more. school or a class, to meet other little people. baby #3 may prompt this ;)
    i really do see too that its where a person is at in life, in motherhood. i was referring more to the obviously OVER scheduled childhood. the kids who cant play on their own because they are used to being entertained/carted from activity to activity. this is more the thing i strive to avoid and what i think is kids space to play and be kids. you know? like what moni was saying above (HI MONI!!)
    thanks for speaking up. i am all about ALL moms being able to come together and talk and learn, regardless of where we are at on this crazy mommy journey :)

  14. also, gym once a week??? crazy.

  15. Hi again, just had to say that I love your blog for the same reason that I love Mothering magazine. Always a new perspective on something that I may have taken for granted. I just had to chime in because I do understand the "Do do do", it's just what works for us. Thank you for clarifying about a schedule vs overschedule, as I know that there are many kids like that as well. And, I know, gym once a week is downright ludicrous.

  16. Sara, have you considered a babysitting coop? We started one when we lived in Brooklyn and my husband was a stay-at-home dad. It was a life-saver for getting to the salon, sneaking in a nap, or just going out for an afternoon coffee sans kiddo. If you decide to go for it, you may want to check out -- it makes the management pretty easy, so the only work is finding responsible parents to join.

    Good luck - hope you catch up on zzzs.


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