Copyright © June Cleaver in yoga pants
Design by Dzignine
Wednesday, September 14, 2011


I am sitting in my very clean living room, with a children's lullaby on repeat in the background and BOTH children asleep on the couches, covered in piles of blankets. One is feverish, one is recovering from a fever. Both are tearing at my heart right now. Sweet little people. Full of snuggles and silly jokes and uproarious laughter and tender caresses. "Oh my big mama," little miss said to me the other night "you are so beautiful and cute. I wuv you SOOOOO much."

Little miss just woke, sat up and said "Where is my mama?" I waved at her from my chair and she is back asleep. I am a living security blanket. The embodiment of their world, their happiness, for now anyway.

Oh these little people.

What they do to you! How they change you! Your world goes so quickly from you, and your partner, to them. Your daily rhythm, your future dreams and goals. It all changes. And you are better for it.

It is amazing.

And a third little person will soon be added to this overflow of love.

And this is what is so hard for me about the waiting. Who is this person? What will this person add to us and who we are? How will they change me, make me better?

All part of the mystery of motherhood and family. All good things.

And so I will wait. Today, peacefully. Yesterday, not so much. It comes and it goes, in waves. I can do it! NO, NO, I CANT! But of course, I can. In the grand scheme of life these few weeks of thinking baby would be here and waiting for the actual day are nothing. And as my mother keeps saying, in a month you will have a baby. (SURELY! HA HA.)

And my heart is full already, and preparing to overflow with this new little person in our lives.

And it is good. All good.


  1. I love this! I felt SO impatient with my third, and my labor actually started at 38 weeks, 4 days with her, so, um, I didn't have much to complain about. For me, it was just very mental. Things were in place; the baby should be OUT; the end! Also, I think I thought it would be cool to have a baby in April, for whatever reason.

    This time, totally different. Physically, I am SO uncomfortable! Have been since July. But mentally, I feel okay. First of all, the pain will end at some point. Second, dh is so busy with work, it would be stressful to have the baby now. Third, um, we don't have a plan lined up for someone to care for our big kids. So, yeah, I can be REALLY patient right now. I'm not waiting on Baby, I'm waiting on logistics!

    But hang in there, sweetie! I will probably feel the exact same way in 10 days, when I am 39 weeks!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...